A Cup of Tea

One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me.

I was maybe 2-1/2 years old and had just recovered from an accident.

Someone had given me a little "tea set" as a get-well gift and it was one of my favorite toys.

Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of "tea", which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home.

My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was "just the cutest thing!" My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink it up.

Then she says, as only a mother would know...

"Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?"

Unrecoverable

Four things you can't recover:

The stone.................. after the throw.

The word.................. after it's said.

The occasion............. after it's missed.

The time.................... after it's gone.

Heaven and Hell

A holy man was having a conversation with God one day and said, "God, I would like to know what Heaven and Hell are like."

God led the holy man to two doors.

He opened one of the doors and the holy man looked in.

In the middle of the room was a large round table. In the middle of the table was a large pot of stew, which smelled delicious and made the holy man's mouth water. The people sitting around the table were thin and sickly. They appeared to be famished. They were holding spoons with very long handles, that were strapped to their arms and each found it possible to reach into the pot of stew and take a spoonful. But because the handle was longer than their arms, they could not get the spoons back into their mouths. The holy man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering.

God said, "You have seen Hell."

They went to the next room and opened the door. It was exactly the same as the first one. There was the large round table with the large pot of stew which made the holy man's mouth water. The people were equiped with the same long-handled spoons, but here the people were well nourished and plump, laughing and talking. The holy man said, "I don't understand."

"It is simple," said God. "It requires but one skill. You see they have learned to feed each other, while the greedy think only of themselves."